Keep rolling, rolling, rolling - Weeks 14-16

There is clearly no moss on my little one. Having not really liked tummy time initially she has got more used to it and is now pretty strong on her arms. She actually seems to enjoy to be perched on them and being able to look around at her toys to see which one will be her next playmate. After a couple of minutes she gets tired out so I pick her up to do a different activity before her next nap. I don't do tummy time every single day as some days BB seems more tired than others. However, when I try it again at 15+1 weeks she surprises me with a proper roll from her front to her back. Hoping that it isn't a fluke I place her down on her tummy again and after a few pushes of her arms and slight twist of her body and legs, her whole body rolls over to her back! We are both delighted and she beams a wide toothless grin at me. But whenever I try and get BB to do this again in front of Mr B or others she seems to get stage fright so I decide to try and capture it on film as evidence the next time she looks as if she might do another flip.

At 15+5 weeks BB also surprises me with her first proper laugh. I was hoping that this might be on its way as she had done a half giggle just after a feed a week or so previously, but hadn't developed it any further so I was starting to doubt myself as to whether it had actually happened. But this one was a definite throaty laugh having done a bit of dancing on her back on her play mat, waving her arms and legs around (copying her mother who was prancing around the living room). This leads to many attempts at making BB laugh again by trying out various silly dances but it seems that none are quite as funny as the original. I'll just have to find something else which she'll find even more hilarious!

The laughter was a lovely moment, which has counteracted the first signs of teething. BB has had a few sporadic days of drooling, rosy cheeks, sucking on her fists (or anything else she can get her little puds on) and a few wails. When I mentioned this to the Health Visitor last time I saw her she said that it was a bit early for BB to be teething. But the signs are clearly there, that there is movement beneath those pink gums! I am hoping it wont be too long or too painful for her before the first bright white tooth pops up - teethers have been ordered for the ready.

One thing I wasn't quite prepared for after the birth was the extent of hair loss that I would have. This only started a few weeks ago but it is literally coming out in clumps, especially when I am washing it or brushing it. I am loosing so much hair that Mr B keeps finding it around the house and asks me to clear it up on a daily basis – a bit difficult to do when picking up hair from the floor isn't really a top priority right now! I'm sure there must be something that could be done with all this hair – I wonder if there would be a market for using it to make wigs??

I have started to get back into my normal clothes, well, I have been able to fit into my trousers for a while now (although I didn't even try my normal jeans for some weeks after the birth and when I first did I couldn't even get them over my thighs! Very demoralising!), but my tops have been a bit tricky as I am still breastfeeding. I have found that the selection of nursing tops out there isn't great and speaking to other breastfeeding mums it seems that everyone has there own way of coping, some don't have any problem with their normal baggier tops and just pop their little ones underneath (BB doesn't like to have her face covered so this is a no go for me - nor is using a sling to keep everything covered for the same reason), some use a double layer of tops so that their stomach is covered whilst they pull down the second layer down and top layer up for easy access to their nursing bra, some use a scarf or the like whilst they unbutton their shirt. I still find the logistics of feeding in public quite tricky so try to make sure that I have fed BB just before going out and get home in time for her next feed – this is not always possible so a stop at John Lewis' parent room is often needed! And having heard of the news of the Brighton mum who was verbally attacked for breastfeeding her four month old in public, this really doesn't help my confidence! But her flashmob event did make me smile.

As BB's four month mark is fast approaching I decide to do some research into weaning. Not that I am necessarily going to start this in the next few weeks (it is advised not to start weaning with puréed food until at least 17 weeks if the signs that baby is ready and not until 6 months for solids – although you still have to feed baby either breast milk or formula until at least 12 months as well - but weaning should definitely start by six months as milk on its own wont be enough for the baby's needs at this stage) but I feel that this is quite a major development stage and that I want to get my prep in early. Many mums have recommended the Annabel Karmel books and the usual baby rice, purées and mashed up foods. I have also been recommended a book called Baby Led Weaning, which effectively lets your baby feed themselves – more research is needed...

Finding our feet - weeks 12 - 14

So, the fitness regime is well on its way and gaining momentum with the DVD being used most mornings; the walks are increasing in speed and duration as I desperately search for pavements to take the buggy on around the two local villages; and I have also now added cycling to the mix by using the turbo trainer in the garage to burn off extra calories, which reminds me that I must update the music on my iPod – way out of date!

BB has started to make changing her nappies more challenging as she has now found her feet and keeps grabbing them with her hands. It is hard to be annoyed when she is so happy with herself at her new acquired skill, even when I am in a hurry to get to an appointment. One of which is her last session with the Osteopath, who is happy with BB's progress and discharges her from any more treatment. This is a massive relief, even though BB was coping better with the treatment she still seemed a little unsettled afterwards. But I am glad that we stuck it out as I was sure that BB's birth must have had some affect on her.

After BB's first lot of jabs I felt more prepared for the second lot. She didn't seem fazed by going back to the surgery and was happily sitting on my lap as I talked with the nurse. We were her last appointment of the day so she seemed more relaxed and chatty than last time. She admitted to me that this was the worst part of her job but she was impressed again at how well BB coped with the jabs. Even though there were a few tears, BB recovered well after a good old cuddle from her mummy.

Having made sure that BB didn't have any side effects from the jabs I decide to see the Doctor to get myself checked out also. I haven't been back for myself since my 6 week check-up and I am keen to find out how my divarication is. I am quite nervous as the Doctor checks my stomach, especially as she seems to be taking quite a bit longer than the other Doctors and Health Visitors who had checked it before. As she checks it over and asks me to crunch up so that she can check it further she finally announces that she cannot feel a gap at all. No gap! I am so relieved! I had explained to her the various exercises that I had been doing and she seemed pleasantly surprised with the results. She tells me that what I am doing is clearly working so to keep at it. This news really helps me to turn a corner on my own health and I feel as if I am truly getting back to my old self.

I also finally arrange a catch-up lunch with some of my work colleagues (having had to cancel on them a couple of times before) and then pop into the office afterwards. This was very strange indeed. I suddenly felt as if I had been sciving off and was being brought back to see the headmaster. It was really nice to see everyone and to see that not much had really changed around the office, except for the fact that there was a new person at my old desk!! Thoughts invariably turn to when I'll be back there, and although I still have another eight or so months of maternity leave left I can't quite believe that four months have already gone by.

The magical three month mark - weeks 10-12

Due to the type of delivery BB had, the Health Visitor recommended that BB be seen by an Osteopath. BB had her first appointment at 10 weeks as I was also concerned that she might have had some residual tension or pain in her head from the use of the forceps. Sure enough this was confirmed by the Osteopath (as well as a slight twist in BB's pelvis) who recommended four sessions to relieve this. In fact the Osteopath thought that BB had coped with the tension pretty well by the sounds of it, although I had to admit that it had been quite difficult to put BB down for her daytime naps as as soon as you lie her down she starts crying and that often, when she does have her crying tantrums she does hit her head with her little fists.

The first couple of sessions were pretty tough. My mum came with me to the first appointment and waited outside the treatment room. Unfortunately, BB found the experience quite uncomfortable and cried through most of it and at one point my mum came flying through the door to check on what was happening – Granny to the rescue! It was upsetting to see BB like this but I had been warned that she could react this way. I was told to indulge her over the next 24 hrs or so and to give her lots of cuddles, which of course I did. After the first two sessions BB relaxed into the treatment and after the fourth she was discharged. I do hope that the treatment has alleviated the tension in her head for her and I must say that putting her down for her daytime naps is much quicker and easier now and she doesn't seem to cry half as much as she used to. Of course, this could also be partly due to her simply growing out of it.

On the development side we were particularly excited to witness BB rolling onto her sides. This was at 10 weeks + 6 and we were both there. Mr B had taken the day off from work and had BB on her play mat whilst I was catching up on emails. As he looked away for a second I noticed that BB was on her side. I asked Mr B if he had placed her like this, which he denied. We were both a bit perplexed as BB hadn't really shown much interest in rolling over just yet. So we rolled her back onto her back and played with her a bit more, thinking it might have just been a fluke. But just a few minutes later we both witnessed her rolling onto her other side. We were both overjoyed by this but BB seemed far more chilled out by the whole affair than we were. I was so pleased that Mr B was there to see it too.

Tummy time has never been a particularly fun game for BB but I do try to do it every so often (tummy time is simply putting the baby on their stomach so as to help strengthen their neck – it also helps them to get ready with pushing themselves up on their arms, rolling over, sitting up and crawling). Most of our tummy time sessions are pretty short as BB tends to cry after just a few short minutes but by 12 weeks + 4 I notice she has a much stronger head lift and that she is a generally more confident baby on her tummy.

All our friends who have children told us during the early weeks that once you hit the three month mark everything gets easier. At that time though, three months seemed a very, very long way off and I wasn't sure that we would still be sane by then! But as the days and weeks wore on BB's sleeping pattern did seem to settle more and more. I had got used to waking 2-3 times a night for changes and feeds but at 10 weeks + 2 we had our first night of just having 1 feed. This made a massive difference but we couldn't help but worry a little that BB would be starving!!

A week later we had our first Waterbabies session. BB seemed rather shy at first and would bury her head into me as we sat on one of the chairs watching the class before ours. I think the noise and the new environment was a bit overwhelming at first but once in the water she coped very well. So well in fact that she went on to sleep through the night for the first time! We, of course, didn't. We kept waking up at BB's usual wake up times to check on her and expecting her to wake up for a feed any minute, but she didn't. She was fast asleep, dreaming of what ever babies dream of.

Over the next couple of weeks we noticed that when she did drop off to sleep in her basket her arms would bang onto the sides and wake her up again. She was also able to kick the bottom end, so thoughts turned to putting her in her cot. Our room is not quite big enough to have the cot in with us so this would mean putting her in her own roo. The advice given by the experts is that babies should stay in their parents' room till around 6 months, so we were rather torn. But at 12 weeks we decided to try BB out in her cot and in a Grobag. We allowed some time to settle BB in her room, but as we use it to change her all the time she was already familiar with and went down pretty easily.

Strangely enough, I was more affected by the fact that BB would no longer be in our room and was actually quite happy in her cot than when I try to get her to feed from a bottle. This change of room for her, which she took in her little baby stride, was a massive change and leap for me. I suddenly realised just how quickly BB was changing and growing up.

On the way to feeling like myself again - weeks 7-10

Having had the all clear from my GP at my 6 week check-up, I decide that it is time to try and get back into shape, having only done my pelvic floor exercises (very important!!) and gentle walks since the birth. I put on about 3 stone during my pregnancy (more than I would have liked) and had a massive bump so I know that it will take a while. I lost a stone in the first week (mostly down to BB, waters, placenta and blood) after the birth and a further stone over the following weeks.

I am not into diets at the best of times and whilst I am breastfeeding and looking after BB it is the last thing I want to worry about. So, cutting back on biscuits and upping the gentle exercise is the plan for now. It is recommended that you do not do any running or other strenuous exercises until 5-6 months after the birth as muscles and ligaments are still quite soft and it is easy to cause an injury if you start too soon; but faster walks, cycling and swimming and the like are good. The walks are a good way of making me get out of the house to get some fresh air and do help to try and get BB down for a sleep if she is having a tantrum and refuses to. Unfortunately it does take BB a while to get used to her car seat (I only used the carry-cot part for the first few weeks) so some of walks in the buggy are abandoned half-way through and slings are tested out (the BabyBjorn and Close ones both work well).

I also add a fitness DVD to the mix and go for the Tracy Anderson one. She apparently put on over 4 stone during her pregnancy and she looks pretty amazing! The exercises are mostly floor ones for the stomach (to bring the skin back to the muscles) and then some exercises for the legs and arms. It takes an hour in total and I have been able to time it so that I put BB down for her morning nap, start the DVD and as BB wakes up I put her in her bouncer as I finish the DVD. Some of the stomach exercises are absolutely impossible for me to do the first few times but I stick with it (having one day off of it a week). Slowly the exercises do seem to be getting easier and I am starting to feel better generally. Mr B even comments that I am toning up nicely already, especially in the bum department – result! So the DVD is a success and I decide to stick with it.

Routine or not to routine? There seems to be some debate whether at this stage it is too early to try and get little ones into a routine. However, with the constant feeding and lack of order I do feel that a routine might help BB and me. I try the Gina Ford, The Contented Little Baby Book. Most of what she says does make sense but I do find that the routines are very strict. I try to stick to them as best I can for the first week or two but we seem to slip either an hour ahead or behind the times. Still, it does feel as if we are starting to get somewhere. I decide to only use the routines on a flexible basis and it does help. BB soon gets to grips with when her bedtime is and from around 6/7 weeks she goes down at around 7:00pm which gives us a bit of an evening if we want it. We then rush to have dinner and I go to bed as soon as I am finished (around 8:30pm). BB then tends to wake up at anything between 12:00 and 1:30am for a change and a feed and then again between 3:00am and 5:00am. I tried waking BB for her 10:30pm feed but she wasn't having any of it and seemed to mess up her later feeds so I decide to let her sleep through till when she wakes. It sometimes takes an hour or two to settle her down after her night time feeds, which is plain exhausting, but my body clock soon gets used to it. The routine goes out of the window when BB seems to be coming down with a cold and when she has her first jabs, but it is fairly easy to get back into it and her bedtime still seems set.

Getting ready for outings still seems a bit frantic and I try to limit them as best I can in the first few weeks. But I now feel that I just need to take the plunge. The girls from my ante-natal group have been meeting on a fairly regular basis so I decide to finally join them when BB is just over 8 weeks old. I prepare the water and powder for a bottle just in case I “bottle it” with breastfeeding in public or in case BB actually decides to take the bottle! It is really nice to chat and share experiences with the other girls. Everyone has had their little obstacles to face but they have all been able to stay positive. This helps me to realise that even in the difficult times I can get through it. Finally the time comes that BB wants a feed so I get the water and powder out only for it all the powder to spill on the table! Great! So I have to try and feed her on the breast as discreetly as I can, which I also fail at. So I admit defeat and leave the girls to go to the parent room to do the feed properly.

BB has her first jabs at just over 8 weeks. I know a lot of people get quite anxious about these but I have managed to keep pretty level-headed about them...that is until they are actually given. My mum kindly offered to come with me as moral support but had to leave the room before the nurse even got the jabs out. I am told to sit on the chair and to hold BB on my lap, her back to my stomach, and to hold her hands. She gets one jab in each thigh. After the first one I can feel BB squeeze her hands around mine and she does a silent yelp before the scream comes out. The second jab is quickly given and the cry really comes. I give her a strong hug and walk her around the room to settle her. She has a few tears but she soon settles and I am sooo proud of my brave little girl. We keep a closer eye on her over the following 48hrs and check her temperature every so often but she seems largely unfazed by it all (although I do indulge her with an extra feed and nap after the jabs).

A major plus at weeks 9 and 10 is that BB finds her thumbs! Now, I did try a dummy with her when she first had her crying tantrums but she spat it right out so I gave up on this (plus I was in two minds as to whether I wanted her to use a dummy or not). But luckily she seems to enjoy sucking on her thumbs, which really helps her with self-soothing – this helps to settle her when she feels a bit grizzly and gets her down for her naps much easier.

By 10 weeks I start to feel more in control and more confident in what I am doing. Little achievements like getting a bit of exercise in, getting out and about and meeting up with other mums or even just being able to have a shower without BB screaming the place down makes me feel as if I am doing OK and finally getting to grips with this mothering lark.