Every week when the grandparents see BB, they tend to comment on how she has changed since the last time they saw her. I have not always noticed these slight changes, as it is not so easy to see them when you spend your whole time with your child. This week, however, I have noticed a few. And it is becoming clear that my baby is not so much of a baby anymore. At 7 months old she really knows her mind and what she wants (and what she does not want). She has definite character and has a few favourite things that really make her giggle. BB is more than just a baby now, she is a little person. And I have to say, I am loving this phase!
Solids seem to be a breeze for her and I am having to try to come up with new things to offer her and prepare proper little meals rather than just fingers foods, which she demolishes with gusto.
I am now making more of an effort to put BB in little outfits when we are out and about rather than just her "onesies", and apart from the struggle to put tights on (one leg escapes as I try to insert the other), the taking off of socks (sock-ons have now been purchased) and the pulling off of hats (need to come up with something here - elastic?), we are doing pretty well.
There is still no real sign of teeth, although BB does have some of teething symptoms which seem to come and go.
As the weather has become a fair bit warmer (not sure how long for though) we have been able to make proper use of the garden. Picnic rug out, BB clothed head to toe (hat has to be replaced on a regular basis) and surround BB with toys - only for her to be more taken with a passing bird or the gentle swaying of nearby trees and bushes.
I have been going through some of my summer maternity wear this week to lend to my sister-in-law who is due with her first baby next month. Talking with her, over an orange juice and a chocolate twist at a local coffee shop last week, reminded me of the worries all soon to be mums tend to have before the big arrival. It was nice to be able to reassure her in some aspects and to give advice as and when she asked for it. With BB bouncing on my lap it really brought it home just how much BB has grown and how much we have been through over the last few months. I remember advice from a friend that once you get to three months and then six months it does get easier but at the time I just couldn't see past the hectic haze I felt I was in. Now on the other side, those first few weeks sort of seem like a lifetime ago. So much so, that Mr B and I have started talking about whether or not to add to our brood - not that we are planning to for some time yet, but, the fact that we are able to even think about it, whereas a few months ago we could not even contemplate why we would put ourselves through the same situation again, feels as if we are moving forward and coping better, together.
Work-baby balance? - 26-28 weeks
Going into my eighth month of maternity leave I start to panic that I potentially only have four months left before going back to work. Now,I know that many mums may have gone back to work sooner than this and that some will not being going back at all. Whichever decision a parent makes as to whether to go back or not is totally personal to their circumstances and some simply love their work.
Personally,
I was always adamant that I would have the full 12 months of
maternity leave to spend with my baby. I never had a gap-year after
A-levels or college and I felt that this would be my “year off”!
Now, if someone had asked me during those first three months after BB
came along whether I wanted to go back to work, I probably would have
said yes, without much hesitation and would probably have asked to
have gone back sooner than the 12 months. Now, that the dust has
settled and I am feeling more on top of life as a mother I am a bit
more hesitant. My mind is often in turmoil as to whether to go back
to work full-time, in order to get as much money as possible for a
more comfortable lifestyle that the whole family can enjoy, but then
missing out on much of BB's continuing development (and her smiles
and giggles at nothing in particular, which in turn crack me up); go
back part-time, but inevitably end up doing longer hours to try and
get all the work done in a shorter amount of time, and have most of
the money earned be swallowed up by nursery fees, but then having
more days with BB than if working full-time; try and find some work
that can be done from home or just not go back to work and grin and
bear the massively reduced household income. These are questions
that most of us parents will face at some point and are what we are
currently mulling over (with more emphasis on the returning to work
in some shape or form).
Whatever
the answer my Health Visitor advised me when I last saw her that
children start to develop attachment anxiety at around the age of one
and that it would, therefore, be a good idea to start putting BB in a
nursery before then, even if just for a couple of mornings a week. So
with this advice, along with Mr B's wish for me to go back to work, I
dutifully got in touch with a few nurseries to arrange “viewings”.
I have so far been to two and am due to visit two more which are on
our short list of recommendations. Our main requirements for a
nursery are for it to be somewhere that we feel comfortable for BB to
be spending some time in and that the people are on our wave-length.
It needs to be either close to home or close to either of our work
for quick collection and/or short travel time on journeys. Beyond
that I feel I just need to go to a few and see which “feels” like
us and then bring Mr B along to my favourite two.
The
first nursery I went to is part of a chain and seems to have lots of
systems in place for babies' and children's development and is in a
purpose built building, without it feeling too austere. It actually
felt happy and clean and as if there was plenty going on. Despite
this, after just a few short minutes of settling BB in the baby room
and speaking to the kind staff and a couple of other mums who were
there on settling-in days with their little ones, whilst another baby
seemed to be having a marathon crying session, I broke down in tears
myself. It suddenly dawned on me that my little baby would be looked
after by someone else. Wouldn't need me quite so much any more. And,
would probably cope pretty well too. The staff and other mums were
very understanding but the tears just kept coming, whilst BB got to
grips with some new found toys. I managed to sort myself out and
stayed for a total of 40mins. I arranged to go back for a proper show
around a few days later when it was a bit quieter and to talk things
through with a member of staff. This second session was much better,
for me anyway, and having had a few days to get my mind round it, I
started to think about it in a positive way for BB.
Still,
I think my mind is a bit of a denial phase when it comes to having to
think about going back to work. Part of me relishes the freedom of
being able to just get on with things and part of me just aches
inside at the thought of no longer sharing my days with my little
one.
A sane mummy brain is best - 24-26 weeks
So...I am pleased to report that food consumption with BB is going rather well (after a few false starts with too hard mango and overly roasted floppy aubergine – this is a learning curve for mummy too not just for BB). However, as previously 'reported', I had rather given up on the bottles, beakers, cups fiasco a few weeks ago and as the weaning process was going well so far I decided that I wanted to tackle milk feeds again – plus the fact that I had a rather important hen weekend that coming weekend that I was very keen to go to made me even more determined to get this cracked. My reasons included that all important weekend but also the fact that I had always planned to breastfeed up until around the 6 month mark if I managed to reach that far and that I was planning on going back to work and a recent discussion with Mr B about BB not taking a bottle led to my question: what happens if it comes to the time that I am due to go back to work and she still doesn't take a bottle? Mr B's response: You'll just have to not go back! Which just seemed ridiculous to me (and no doubt would be to my employer too!).
So
I went back to basics and did some more research into the best ways
to get babies to take bottles, even though I knew I had tried them
all before. I read various forums and the thing that came up time and
time again, which I hadn't had the nerve to try yet was going
cold-turkey. This involved only offering BB a bottle (of either
expressed milk or formula) and not giving in and giving her the
breast if she fussed. Previously, after a few attempts with the
bottle, I would feed BB from the breast as I did not want her to go
hungry or get dehydrated. Feeling rather guilty for even considering
this option I made a desperate telephone call to the HV and nervously
discussed the issue. She patiently listened and re-assured me that I
was not a bad mother for considering this. In fact she said that it
was a very common problem and that many mum's find that this is the
only way that a baby will take a bottle and that babies would
eventually take a bottle because their wasn't any other option. She
reminded me that a major problem with going cold turkey was the
effect it would have on my breasts, most notably engorgement and
possible mastitis, and my milk supply and that I would have to
express as and when I felt I needed to.
The
following day I gave BB a normal breastfeed first thing in the
morning and carried on with the solids as usual. When it came to her
next milk feed I offered her a bottle of formula (previous attempts
with expressed milk which had not worked left me feeling rather
depressed at having to pour it down the sink). This was rather
grumpily refused but I kept persevering. As did she. An hour or so
later BB started to get tired and I put her down for her lunchtime
nap. I was feeling rather shaken and was doubting myself as to
whether I should carry on with this. At her next milk feed, though, I
offered her the bottle again. She fussed for quite some time so I
offered her some food and water. After she successfully drained the
cucumber slices from any water they had previously contained I
offered the bottle to her again, which she slowly started to take. I
was doing cartwheels and letting off fireworks inside but trying to
hide this from my face as I didn't want to jinx this particular
achievement! BB took the majority of this bottle but then only 4oz of
the next. The next morning I offered BB the breast and then followed
my new milk routine again – bottle at the next feed (which she took
another 4oz) and again at the next – which again she refused. But
that evening she took a whole bottle. And I have to say that we
haven't looked back since. It essentially took two full days for BB
to confidently take a bottle but it has allowed me to have a bit more
freedom when out and about, no longer having to worry whether my
breasts/nipples were on show to the world when getting into position,
and others being able to look after BB if I needed them to.
For
that following weekend, we were lucky enough that there were a couple
of other new mum's going along to the hen do with similar baby
feeding dilemmas/problems. It was agreed that we could all bring our
babies with us and that our other halves would also tag along to look
after the little ones whilst we were participating in the hen
activities. Because a couple of barns had been rented we were able to
get all the hens without present babies (or present partners) into
one barn and the rest of us in the other, which made it easier for
possible night feeds also. But if I had not gone cold turkey on BB
earlier that week it would have been rather difficult for Mr B to
look after her for any length of time – don't get me wrong, even
though he was able to give her bottles, I still popped in to make
sure they were all OK. And I have to say, although I was glad it was
all working out, it did make me a little sad that I wasn't
expressly needed anymore.
Food, Glorious Food - 22-24 weeks
I had a busy couple of weeks planned to try and catch up with various people but it turned out that my car had other ideas and packed up, which meant we were housebound (and village-bound). But we did manage to see the Health Visitor and discussed weaning further. I told her that I was interested in Baby Led Weaning and that I thought that BB was pretty much ready – but I wanted her reassurance that it would be OK to start – it is advised to start BLW when babies are 6 months old and BB was just shy of this. BB has shown all the signs of being ready, she can hold her head up, has been sitting up when supported (and sometimes unaided) for weeks, brings items to her mouth, has started waking in the night having slept well before and is showing an interest in our food. To my surprise the HV was very supportive and agreed with me that BB was probably ready and to just go for it – but to keep going with normal milk feeds as these will still be BB's main source of nutrition until she is a year old.
I felt rather relieved
and yet also daunted at the prospect of having to come up with a
varied and fun diet for BB, so I was keen to update our online food
shopping trolley with lots of different fruit and veg to get her
started on. But in the meantime I started BB on a bit of banana,
which was a success at first, and then some steamed carrot and
broccoli, which wasn't quite as successful.
That afternoon and
evening we were all at a friend's wedding. When it came to the sit
down dinner, I had BB on my lap who was smiling at the other guests
and was generally quite happy. As soon as the food started to come
out she was suddenly lunging towards the food and trying to grab it
with her fists. So, with the guidance of a nursery nurse (who was
also a mum who had done BLW) who was another guest at our table we
held some bread to BB's mouth. Sure enough, she sucked on this rather
happily until it became a sticky lump of mush. Two slices later and
we had to go to the kitchen and ask for some more bread (it turned
out that they had received the same request from another two sets of
parents who were also starting to wean their little ones – their
bread must have been particularly tasty to babies!).
So, the following
morning, with the previous evening's success in mind, I offered BB
some bread and some more banana – both were refused, hhmmpphhh. The
following day I decide to give BLW a break as I wasn't starting to
wonder if BB was ready. But
Monday morning came, and with a fresh week a fresh start on the BLW
came about. Some bread, apple slices, banana, pasta and avocado were
all offered and I am pleased to say were all happily sucked and
chewed on by BB.
The
rest of the week carried on in the same vain. Food was offered. Some
was accepted. Some was turned down quite robustly. Perseverance,
which I am learning as a parent is an essential required 'skill', is
key here. If BB doesn't fancy something then I have to try and hide
my disappointment and offer her something else and trust that she
(and her body) knows what she needs.
Calm, cups and cradle cap - 20-22 weeks
I took BB to a local toddler group again this week. It was our second time there and we brought our next door neighbour and her 22 month old boy with us. There were a lot more mums and children this week which was lovely but it also made it much noisier for BB, which she didn't particularly enjoy. It made me realise how calm she likes it at home and how much she is like her father in that respect.
BB, who is usually a
pretty good sleeper (will typically go from 7:00pm till 6:30am), has
now been waking at around 3:00am for an extra feed for the last week.
At first we thought it may be further signs of teething or possibly
being a bit cold as the temperature outside has dropped quite a bit
in the last few weeks. But I am now thinking that it may be due to
her getting ready for solids. I have not started BB on purées as yet
as I am quite keen to give the whole Baby Led Weaning a go and until
now she hadn't really shown the signs of being ready. But she is now
very sturdy in her sitting up, her hand eye coordination is also very
good (so much so that anything that is anywhere near her ends up in
her mouth), and she has started to lunge towards food – making me
more aware of what I should be eating in front of her and what I
should be eating when she is asleep (or not at all really but where's
the fun in that!). So I have made another appointment with the Health
Visitor to get BB weighed, have a further discussion about the BLW
and to clarify when would be a good time to start – it is advised
to start at 6 months but some people go by the baby's actual birth
date or 26 week mark, which may be a few days out of the birth date,
and others I have heard opt for the 24 weeks mark. All very
confusing. But no-one seems to mention if it makes any difference
whether the baby was born early, on due date (give or take) or was
late. BB was two weeks late so does that mean that she may be ready
for solids sooner than the 26 weeks from her actual birth date?
And whilst on the
subject of feeding, I have given up on the bottles totally, as we
were getting nowhere with those and feeds always left both BB and
myself annoyed and having to resort to the breast anyway. I am,
however, persevering with cups and beakers (with and without the flow
valve). By far the most successful to date, and the messiest, is the
Doidy cup. BB is able to hold onto the cup handles and does seem to
know what to do with it by bringing it to her mouth (sometimes
jolting it quite hard, so spills are very common) and will then
either sip the milk or take a few gulps. BB has had a couple of very
good sessions with the Doidy cup and others have been total disasters
with her pushing the cup away and arching her back and scrunching her
face up in disgust. Up until recently I have only been trying the cup
once a day to introduce it slowly but I am going to try and use it at
every day time feed (apart from the first feed of the day and the
last one before bedtime) and top her up with a breastfeed afterwards
as well to make sure she is full – maybe this is a mistake but I
will keep trying with this for a while and speak to the HV to see if
she has any other tips.
BB has had a bit of
cradle cap for a little while but it hasn't seemed to bother her and
it just flakes away every so often. But recently it seems to be
getting a little worse so I am now dabbing it with a bit of olive oil
and using a soft brush to loosen the flakes – but I will get this
checked out by the HV also.
Bouncing, bubbles and beakers - 18-20 weeks
A major development has
been sitting up. I often let BB have time to lie on her play mat and
stretch her legs, and from time to time I have been trying her in
sitting up positions, particularly when she has not been too keen on
tummy time. She has also been using a Bumbo seat, with a tray so that
her toys can be close to hand. And bit by bit, as I have put BB in
the sitting up position she managed to sit up unaided at 18 weeks for
a good 30-50secs before having a little wobble (long enough for me to
capture it on my camera). She is now getting stronger and stronger
and can manage a good few minutes before loosing concentration. I am
always with her when she is sitting up as she still have a few
wobbles but the delight in her face as she starts to master yet
another skill is just something else!
BB is now really
enjoying her Jumperoo and all the toys attached to it and is
particularly loving the bouncing (and mummy is enjoying some new
tunes to listen and hum along to).
Another new game of
hers is to blow raspberries and bubbles. BB will entertain herself
for pretty long periods by trying out these new skills and even
making herself giggle in the process – and it is quite fun to watch
(and I sometimes join
in too – well it would be rude not to really!).
BB has also been
getting much noisier over the last few weeks. She is starting to copy
some of the sounds of the words we make and Mr B was certain that he
heard her say “hello” in the night, which freaked him out
totally! But she is certainly making more purposeful sounds and seems
to be chatting with us a lot
more. BB is also reacting to her name now. When we do call her
name she will turn towards us (unless she is in a grump or is really
taken by something else which has caught her eye).
Various items are no
longer safe if they are anywhere near BB's reach as she is a real
professional at reaching out for things and grasping them very
confidently now. Pulling at things, which will invariably end up in
her mouth – books seem to be a particular favourite at the moment.
And when we read books together she is very helpful at trying to turn
the pages for me.
I had been a bit
concerned that BB still seems to be pretty quick with her feeds and
that she may not be feeding enough (although she has always had good
level of wet nappies, which is a good indicator that all is well) but
at BB's latest weigh in she was 14lb 4oz so is doing really well. I
discussed the issue of weaning with the Health Visitor who advised
that unless BB seems to get hungrier then to leave the weaning till
at least 24 weeks, as this will give her a particularly good
period of having had
breast milk. Well, as she is still pretty reluctant to take anything
else at the moment there is no problem with this. I told the HV that
I was considering Baby Led Weaning and she was actually quite
supportive but reminded me that I had to wait until BB was 6 months
before starting - babies' digestive systems find it difficult to deal
with anything other than milk before this age. However, many do start
weaning at around 17 weeks with various purées.
On the feeding front,
BB is still very keen on the old boobage! After the success of the
previous week I have been trying the cup again but most of the milk
ends up down BB's front (and sometimes down her back too). So an
emergency trip out to the shops and a beaker and another form of cup
with a spout were purchased. The new cup has not gone down well at
all but the beaker seems to be a firm new favourite. I say favourite,
I am only trying it once a day and she seems to mostly chew on the
spout and will take in a little bit of milk – but again it is not a
full feed. I have given her a few days off of this but a bit more
perseverance is needed, yet again!
The calm before the next wave? - 16-18 weeks
I recently took BB on
her longest drive to date. We were meeting up with friends and some
of their little ones for lunch where we all grew up. I was making the
journey on my own with BB so I had to thing about timings as didn't
want to ruin her good day-time routine of her feeds and nap times.
Luckily she slept well on the way there and on the way back but she
did find it hard to settle when there were other people there (mostly
because she likes to be involved with whatever is going on).
BB
has really taken to her tummy time now and has mastered the
bottom-in-the-air-push-your-legs-away-from-the-rest-of-your-body-bury-your-head-into-the-ground-whilst-your-arms-wont-move
position which she is starting to get frustrated with – time to get
the house ready for a crawling baby??
I have been getting BB
used to her Jumperoo which is proving to be another life, and time,
saver. She will happily stand in it whilst figuring out how to make
the music play with a bit more of a bounce from her. She is also
becoming more adventurous with her hands and starting to reach out
for toys with both of her hands. Away, from the Jumperoo, this means
that most of the items which are successfully grabbed by BB end up in
her mouth. BB has also mastered a new game of grabbing a toy from my
hands (usually her chain of teething rings – her most
favourite toy), holding on to it and then letting it go, expecting me
to catch it. This game can go on for quite some time!
BB has also now had her
third lot of jabs which made her particularly sleepy this week but
she has recovered from them well. Mr B came along to these and I did
warn him that it can be a little upsetting to see BB having these.
But true to form she cried as the jabs were jabbed but after a cuddle
from me she recovered very quickly and even smiled at the nurse. BB
now won't need any more jabs until she is 12 months, phew!
Having taken a break
from trying to get BB to take a bottle I thought I'd try her with a
cup. We were given a Tommee Tippee tip it up cup by friends, so I
give this a go. The first few tries are total disasters in that BB
wont even let the soft spout go in her mouth. Then when she does
allow it in she munches on it, sucks some milk up and lets it all
dribble out down her chin and all over herself. Mr B says that she
clearly doesn't like it and that I should just to carry on with the
breastfeeding. However, I am determined to crack this so I give her
another break and then offer the cup to her again a few days later,
allowing her to play with the handles and generally getting used to
it. Miraculously she allows the spout into her mouth and does seem to
drink some of the milk – although there is still a fair bit of
dribbling going on and she doesn't actually take the whole feed. But
it is a major step forward in my book.
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